“S.T.O.P. in the Name of Love”

“Stop! In the name of love. Before you break my heart. Think it over.” Lyrics from the 1965 song by The Supremes can give a couple who are escalating into disconnection a “way out.” The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” In both , Couple Therapy » and Premarital Therapy » we address this new direction. EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)” » is the process of learning these new paths; a different way out. Using the acronym S.T.O.P. it is the “time out” adults need to assess the “stuck, same old dance” verses the desired relationship: S – What was the SIGNAL (cue)? T – What am I TELLING myself? O – What are OTHER possible truths? P – What is my PART (contribution)? When the escalation is stopped, the brain can reengage and correct the initial emotional reactive response. Then -> GO – repair with a redo and reconnect! EFT helps couples find their alternate routes.