What happens when you want your spouse in a very physically intimate way, and your desire is resisted, thwarted and repeatedly dismissed? The word you are looking for is rejected! Once the root of rejection begins to grow in a marital relationship, it is difficult to “dig up.” A spouse enters the office with the proverbial, “All you want is sex!” What they may not understand is the need to connect with the one you love. If your Love Language » is touch, the lack of physical connection is a constant dripping, depletion of your love tank. The canyon echo of “unwanted” reverberates off the walls of the emptiness. A righteous indignation of anger may begin to boil from the depths of your being that filters into every aspect of life. So instead of a reflection of a loving Savior, we war within ourselves, and with others, as that rejected root keeps fueling an angry countenance. Look deeply inside. Are you (or your spouse) really angry, or hurting? Making love is a God ordained, masterful expression of “two becoming one.” Unfortunately, like everything created by a loving God, it has been exploited and demeaned into variations of carnal lust. Lust and love are not the same. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 (The Message Bible) “It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it (emphasis mine), and if it’s for the purpose of prayer and fasting – but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.” Sexual challenges may ebb and flow with many relationships. If it is more than a season and causing distance between husband and wife, Couple Therapy » is a step towards reconnection.
Marriage and Family Therapy
